This was a quite exciting week for me. First off all, I took a week off work (worked a bit remotely). I haven’t taken a holiday for the past 15 years. Since I was 13 years old I was always working, I always had a job, I was always working for something or somebody. When I opened IQD six years ago, things got more intense but it didn’t bother me. Last week I decided to take some time off for me to reconsider everything that has happened and what I have learned. On Saturday it was my 30th birthday. I was excited and at the same time skeptical. Remembering myself when I was 20 makes me feel very proud of myself, how far I’ve come. I’ve changed the way I think, the way I communicate and how I act in different situations.
Looking back, I have learned a lot of things and I would like to share with you five things I have learned that hopefully will inspire you.
- Being the real you
I believe the most valuable life lesson I have learned is authenticity. Maybe it’s because it has happened recently but I truly believe that it’s very important to look deep and become who we really are. I have learned that lying to ourselves and not questioning our values will drive us to a very dark place. We all grow up being influenced by society and our parents, and once we understand how fake society is and we become conscious of it everything starts to change. I’m not saying I’m 100% there, but I’m more conscious of it and I try to inspire others to ‘wake up’ and understand all the fakeness that exists in this world.
- Comparing yourself
I used to compare myself to others and I think subconsciously I still do. This is the worst habit we can have. We look at what others have and say we wish we had them as well. We look at what brands advertise and celebrities promote and say I want to have better shoes, a better car, better hair and thousands of other things. I used to beat myself up and say, look at other people that I admire like GaryVee, Grant, Seth and others. I used to say that he has a podcast; I don’t, he published three books; I don’t have one, he has a team of 500; I don’t. It used to drive me crazy. It’s all bullshit. We don’t need another car, another book or whatever you might think that you want; we need to look for meaning and purpose. That’s what matters. We are all amazing human beings with different strengths and weaknesses and it’s about time we recognized it. I always say to myself as a reminder that there is always somebody taller, shorter, wealthier and there is always somebody who looks up to us and wishes that they had the things we have. Every day I’m learning to love myself more and to stop comparing myself to others. The only person I look up to now is myself in 3,6,9 years.
- Learn to accept yourself
This one is huge for me; we need to learn to accept the real us. Once we realize how important it is to accept us for who we are everything around us changes. There is no other version of you anywhere else in the world. Trying to be something we are not is just a waste of time and energy. I thought that I needed to be another version of me so people would like me and I would be accepted, I wanted clients to like me so they would do more business with IQD. I wanted people to like me come to my workshops. Today, I don’t really care if somebody likes me or not, what I care about is being true to myself and those that like me will be around, and for those that don’t, that’s fine. I understand that we can’t be everything to everybody. I always want to speak the truth and seek respect, not likability. People who are real and want the truth will relate.
- Social media is fake
A lot of content on social media is fake and ego-boosting. Pay close attention to what the majority of Instagram posts communicate; look at my life, it’s so much better than yours. There are hashtags about #myTHISisbetterthanyours comparing our life to others, communicating that we have a ‘shitty’ life and somebody else is having an amazing life. It’s all fake. I know plenty of people that post #happy but deep inside they are unhappy and miserable. Unfollow people and media that don’t bring value to your newsfeed. This type of content has a lot of impact on our subconscious mind. The best thing I did is that I unfollowed all the ‘negative’ accounts and all media that promotes politics or sports.
- Money is very important
I learned that money isn’t everything but it is very important. People say that money will not make you happy and I totally agree with them – to a degree. Money without purpose will not make us happy but money with purpose will make our life easier and open new doors. The way I see it is that I need money to do a lot of things; promote my brand, publish my book, promote a conference, help my parents and help others. There is an unlimited amount of money on planet earth but a limited amount of people who think big enough to learn how to make more money. There is nothing wrong in wanting to make more money we just need to attach it to a bigger purpose.
I learned so many things that I would like to share, but here is one more very important point that I have learned.
- Forgive Others
I have to say forgiving others was holding me back for many years. I realized that forgiving others gives us peace of mind. I didn’t forgive my mother for 15 years, and last month when I had a conversation with her I told her everything that I thought and felt. I finally forgave her for everything and I feel so much better. We need to practice and learn how to forgive others and move on. Holding grudges against people who hurt us doesn’t help us to move forward. Forgive your friend that was late to your party, forgive your ex that broke your heart, forgive your ex that didn’t respect you, forgive your cheating boyfriend because at the end of the day people do certain things because they are at a different stage in life to you.
So there you have it. Now that I’m officially 30 years old I look forward to tomorrow and I hope you get inspired. What did you learn in your 20s? I would love to hear your thoughts below in the comments.